Trigger Happy

No, I'm not referring to my current postal nature or my husband's extensive arsenal. The time has finally come for me to "trigger" ovulation.

So we went to Nashville this morning for our 3rd (and final) ultrasound prior to the all important event of egg retrieval. My estrogen level has climbed to an all time high of 2752 and I had quite a few follicles that seemed pretty big to me. I mean 20 x 21 seems like beach ball size to me...and feels like it too! I'm at an uncomfortable level with my ovaries right now and I've never been more acutely aware of those 2 little organs in my entire life.

While we were waiting on the ultrasound tech, I looked over at Brandon in the corner of the room. He was contently playing a game on his iPhone. But I noticed that the phone didn't have the Juice Pack attached (it's a cover that has an additional battery in it), so I asked where it was. He said that he intentionally left it off so he wouldn't have as much battery life on the phone. What he meant was, so he wouldn't be able to play the game as much....thus being more attentive to the appointment details. Typical boy logic and I guess I should appreciate his contribution to the process. Thanks for your support, honey. Your sacrifice is duly noted.

So all is well and tonight at exactly 9:45 p.m. Central Daylight Time I will be injecting my "trigger" shot. This shot will cause my body to ovulate in about 36 hours. So we will be doing the egg retrieval 35 hours after the shot...Wednesday morning at 8:45 a.m. It's amazing how precise this process needs to be. We go tomorrow (Tuesday) morning for one final blood drawl and to go over pre- and post-op information. I'm done with Lupron! Yeah! I'm done with FSH! Yeah!

All sounds good and easy, huh?

Well, then one of my personalities screamed "Release the Kraken!"

This is my one and only Clash of the Titans reference, but describes my state of mind PERFECTLY right now!

So after I tell Brandon about the voice mail info and continued plan, the following conversation ensued:

Brandon: Should we get a hotel and stay in Nashville Tuesday night?

Me: Why would we need to do that? (getting a little nervous now)

Brandon: This is such a time sensitive procedure, we don't want to run the risk of being late and you know how bad the traffic can be.

Me: You really think it's necessary? I mean, I really hadn't thought about it. (personality is about to split)

Brandon: I just want to do whatever is the least stressful for you. So whatever you want to do.

Me: Shit, I mean I REALLY hadn't even considered being late until JUST now. Thanks for trying to relieve the stress!!!

So, after a 911 call to my parents to talk me off the ledge and because I've lost all ability to make decisions for myself, we're staying in Nashville tomorrow night. No need to tempt fate....and to quote Brandon, "What's another $200 when we've already spent $18,000." Good point.

Who knows, maybe I'll calm down a little tomorrow night (insert laugh here).


I'm off to pack, wish us luck!

More to come...

Welcome to my roller coaster ride...hang on tight.

So, let me start by telling you about my meltdown last night and this morning.


**Disclaimer - lots of gross girl stuff included...guys, continue reading at your own risk**


Went to the bathroom last night and noticed quite a bit of (sorry guys) cervical mucus when I wiped. Since I've been drier than the Sahara Desert for the last couple of weeks thanks to the Lupron, I was quite shocked to see the egg white like substance known to most women. To me, this is a sure sign that I'm about to ovulate....not a good thing! Since I'm pretty much on the verge of spawning more personalities than Sally Field in Sybil, I immediately assume that all has just gone totally wrong. I shouldn't be ovulating just yet...now they are going to cancel my cycle and then what? I don't want to repeat this process!! I completely spiral into my own internal hell. I'm now just sure that I've completely jinxed us by creating this blog and announcing to the world on Facebook (just yesterday) what we're doing. And now we're done, finished, forever childless. I'm amazed that I was actually able to sleep last night.

This morning was not much better. I was still convinced that they were going to cancel everything today...and better yet...I'd probably find out via a damn voice mail message because I'm forever aware that the ultrasound tech won't tell me squat! The ride to Nashville was tense...Brandon could tell I was internally spiraling out of control but was possibly a little afraid of me (or whatever dormant personality was soon going to awake). He just kept driving and offered the occasional "You OK?". To which I would hiss, "Fine".

We were way early to the clinic...like 45 minutes...but they took us back early (brownie points). The ultrasound tech was chipper and again had Brandon write down her findings (which still makes me nervous...seriously, the handwriting is BAD). She called out random numbers and I contemplated yelling "BINGO" at one point, but even I couldn't muster much outward humor. I was still convinced that all was lost with this cycle and that she was just moments away from giving me a "poor dear" look. But instead, when she was done, she said we were free to go unless we wanted to talk to our IVF nurse about anything. That option was new....she didn't offer that up 2 days ago and I felt like she'd been holding out. However, I was so dejected by my own assumptions that I said, "No, it's fine". Thank God for Brandon....out of nowhere I heard him speak up and say, "Um, YES, we'd like to see the nurse please." This man ALWAYS knows when to come to my rescue. If he hadn't been there, I would have just sulked all the way out of the office with no more answers than before and assuming everything was doomed.....effing hormones.

Jen, our IVF nurse, met us after the ultrasound and I explained my concern over the slime I discovered last night and that I was worried I was ovulating. She quickly put my fears to rest by saying that is the most common question she gets and that it is fine. It was just my body naturally reacting to my estrogen level rising...as it should. Whew! This girl is SO SWEET and reassuring in her mannerisms and demeanor that if I ever get a fatal disease, I want HER to break the news to me (and I thought only KK had that amazing ability to make people thank her for not hiring them!...this girl's running a very close second). We asked a few more questions about dates and such and she answered them all to our satisfaction. Again, Thank God Brandon was with me or this appointment would have ended QUITE differently...possibly with "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you breaking news from Nashville...".

So, it seems as though we are on track. Jen said that we have quite a few follicles and we just need a little more time for them to grow. After checking my voice mail this afternoon, I learned that my Estradiol level was 661 (I know what you're thinking....just a smidgen away) and I am to stay on the same medications and dosages until Monday. That's when we'll go back for another ultrasound. Looks like the egg retrieval will most likely be Wednesday next week but that's still up in the air.

Wow, I'm exhausted. This roller coaster ride should be closed to the public...it's not safe for anyone right now!

More on Monday...