Last time I updated, I had proudly conquered the injection demon. So now we’re 11 days into “shooting up” and I’m pretty sure I’m ready to compete in an injection Olympic event. I will say that my adrenaline was sky high for that first injection and since then they do sting a little more. But nonetheless, I persevere through the pain. As I explained before, the medicine that I’m taking is Lupron. Its purpose is to suppress my estrodiol (estrogen) level thus preventing me from ovulating (before planned). Some time ago I was warned about certain side effects of this drug and I joked about me probably having EVERY one. But I didn’t really think that would happen because I’m not usually a “side effect” prone person with most other medications. I WAS WRONG! The key point about this drug that I seemed to overlook is that it is basically putting your body into a chemically induced menopause. So I officially feel like age 36 is the new age 55! Days 4-7 were probably the worst days for the hot flashes…thankfully those seemed to have subsided. Depression set in around the same time and hit me like a ton of bricks. What’s been the worst so far is my irritability. I have found myself not able to control my temper AT ALL…then feel guilty for flying off the handle immediately after…which in turn kicks the depression back in…..VICIOUS cycle. I’m also tired and restless at the same time. If I sit down, all I want to do is get up and do something. Then the minute I’m up, I get tired and want to sit back down again. NOTHING makes me happy or satisfies (or pacifies) me for very long and I won’t even get started on the amount of food I’ve consumed lately. All I can say is, Thank God Brandon loves me…he must to be able to put up with me right now.
Today we had our first appointment at the clinic since we started this cycle over 3 weeks ago. They call it a “suppression check” because that’s the main point of the visit…to make sure that the Lupron is working to suppress my estrogen appropriately. I’ve been waiting for this appointment for weeks now and had built it up tremendously in my hormone riddled mind. I was sure that I’d find out SO MUCH today and feel like we were really getting into the process…..but I feel a little disappointed by it….but I know it’s my own fault. They did blood work and then an ultrasound to make sure I don’t have any cysts…check. Then they did a complete physical and apparently I’m in good health…..check. Lastly, they performed a trial “transfer”. A transfer is what they call it when they put any embryos back into my uterus. It’s the last step of the process and will happen in about 2 ½ weeks. Today they were just checking my anatomy by threading the catheter into my uterus…practice makes perfect. That was it….not sure what I was expecting but it was definitely more than that…..again, nothing satisfies me.
What’s next? Since the blood work indicated that the medication, Lucifer, er, I mean Lupron is working and that I’m appropriately “suppressed”, I will continue with those shots daily but at a lesser dose. Then on Sunday (3/28) I will start taking the next injected medication called Follistim. That is a Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) that will stimulate the ovaries to start maturing the follicles. I’m not going to Google the side effects of this one…don’t want to put any ideas into my head! My next appointments will not be until Wednesday 3/31 and Friday 4/2. Those appointments will be to check blood work and have an ultrasound. They will be checking how well my ovaries react to the FSH. Everything after that will be up in the air and dependent on how those appointments go.
Sorry if this email is really whiny….it’s my current state of mind. And thanks to those at work who see me daily and are subjected to my constant talking about this whole process. It is ALL consuming….physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t know how to NOT think about it…hopefully these next few weeks go by quicker than the last few.
NOTE: always remember, even when my tone seems really negative about the process, I would not be doing this if I didn’t think it at least has a shot at working. Being outwardly optimistic is easier said than done…I’m a work in progress.
More to come….
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